The First Time I LOST MY MIND.........

Thanks for taking the time to read my first blog!

A little about me:

I am a 40 year old wife, married to an outdoors man for the last 17 years. I love the outdoors myself and consider myself a friend to outdoors men...though I don't get to spend as much time as I would like out there...being a mother of three kids who are now 11, 10 and 7. I love the beach, snorkling, fishing and want to scuba dive before I die! I have a couple advanced degrees, one in Psychology and an MBA. I have had my own career including time as a Behavior Specialist for the state of Ga. and most recently an Executive Director of 2 non profits involved with "at risk" teens in Ga. and Fla. I am currently unemployed...and sometimes intellectually bored...like so many others right now. I loved the challenges of my work however, nothing has been more challenging to me than being a HUNTING WIDOW .....with three kids!

After some funny situations where I found ways to "Get what I want" during hunting season, I have been encouraged by my husband and outfitting guide/friend to write you a series of my adventures, the first of which I am titling "THE HUNTING WIDOWS GUIDE: Getting What YOU Want"

This is my first blog experience so bear with me and it is intended for the Hunting Widows of the World Wide Web and anyone looking for creative ways to surviving with their spouse! I have had a few years of experience on how I handle my husband and his hunting and fishing obsessions and still GET WHAT I WANT...eventually anyway! I have also researched what I "should of" known and will share this with you so you are informed and do not make the same mistakes I have made!

I would love any input you may give with or without names. I know how testy the men can be when we get together and chat about this subject so my confidentiality is guaranteed. Also, any advice contained within is only a suggestion and any incidents or events that transpire from reading this blog are not the responsibility of the blogger. With that in mind...here is one of my stories...write me one of yours! Any questions and comments are welcome!


"Diablo"

I remember quite vividly the first time I finally lost my mind over my husband's hunting trips. (YOU know I say first....'cause its happened more than once!)
We were living in Georgia and my children were 4, 3 and a newborn. We have always and still own a construction business that keeps him on the road most of the year. When he had a week or two to spare...guess where he was? Not just hunting down the road like most of the Georgia rednecks...but in Mexico!!...about 3 hours south of the border near San Antonio!

Usually he would go for bird and deer season for a minimum two weeks at a time and this happened at least 3-4 times a year between November and February! Most years they had NO phones or any way to be contacted in case of emergency (not like he could help anyway!) I found myself becoming really grumpy during these trips...angry and resentful that while he was off enjoying himself, I was left to raise my children alone. I was always loving of him and very thankful for the fact that he was well employed and making good money at the time, however, I was OVER IT! Don't get me wrong...I wasn't always a mean, jaded, stone cold bitch to him when he was home...I just wanted to be! I realized at some point that he was NOT doing this to get away from us...rather it was an OBSESSION...an ADDICTION that he could not shake! You know its at the deepest level of their subconscious when you wake to them talking in their sleep.... cursing about losing a buck in his sights. If you are still reading this...you probably know what I'm talking about!

I was a good wife...an understanding wife.... I had put up with out of control spending on the gear, trips and leasing of thousands of acres in the middle of Mexico nowhere...not to mention always being alone!
But one day he arrived home with a Blue Heeler Dog I felt my patience fading fast! This cute little puppy was a $500 (such a deal form the ranch hands!) I had just given up an opportunity to have a fantastic facial procedure that would take away the years of California sun damage..(cost $500) to save for a Disney trip! And its not like we didn't already have a dog...we had two dogs and two cats, goldfish and hamsters that were eating us out of house and home!
I knew he was going to be gone on the road again and I would be left to deal with the puppy potty training and everything else that goes along with such an adorable thing. But he loved this little dog and had such high hopes for training it, that I kept my mouth shut after my initial complaints and tried to find the good in it. It was a really good at what it was bred for...herding. I was an expert at herding my two kids around the house screaming to get away from it!

I had to go grocery shopping one morning so I packed up all the kids...locked the dog in the kitchen with the child gates and timed how long I thought it could last without leaving a mess. Those with several young children know how you can be sidetracked so that a quick grocery run turns into a full half day marathon. My mood was already in patience overdrive and I finally just sat down and cried when I came into the kitchen to find the dog had chewed up everything in its path! Which was mostly....my wooden baseboards and window sill! I couldn't believe my eyes! This new puppy we named "Diego" ( longing for my home town) got a new name of "Diablo" and spent the rest of the afternoon outside.

I carried on keeping up with caring for the puppy along with the usual chaos until the day when I found the dog had scratched up and bit one of the kids! It was time for me to make an Executive Decision....one that did not have time for his input (being unreachable and all)! I recalled him saying how much his buddy liked the dog..called him up and offered the dog and all its belongings for FREE if he would come get it immediately. His unknowing wife showed up with a dazed look on her face when she saw my kitchen window sill........."Diablo" was her problem now!

I felt a kindred spirit in the kitchen with me...lamenting over what she was about to do..and staring cautiously at the adorable little herding dog. I felt kinda guilty that I was pawning my hunting widows problem off on her. But...I got over it quickly and rejoiced breathing a sigh of relief for the myself and the kids!



Since that day....I have often thought about all the other kindred spirits who have become HUNTING WIDOWS and who have shared the same challenges, psychosis, temptations, joys and sorrows that I have. I often wished I had a guidebook that told me what to expect and how to handle different situations around hunting season, especially when I was a newly married HUNTING WIDOWS WIFE! Well, now you have a housewife who's weathered the storms, made the mistakes, won the victories and is still happily married to a man who continues to enjoy hunting and fishing but with a new level of respect for his wife! Our children are learning to respect others needs and personal boundaries and enjoy the love of these sports, as well. Now let us share and put our stories into action so we can save the next HUNTING WIDOW from totally losing her mind!

Can I get an AMEN Sista?!